Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
