Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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