question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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