your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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