sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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