Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
