Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
