Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
