I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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