...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
