Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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