Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Bring me that man meat
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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