You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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