Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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