i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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