If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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