cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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