Whatcha textin bout Willis?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
