i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My Sexting was not on an AP level
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
