I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
