I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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