where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just gargled with NyQuil
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
