This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
