You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
