Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
