Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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