My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
