Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
