I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
