i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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