He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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