Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
