OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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