Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
