Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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