No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
