to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
