I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
