I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
