Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Randomize
