guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize