Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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