we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
