Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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