I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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