well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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