I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
