You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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