I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
