Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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