i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
