I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
