Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
