Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
