I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
