Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
