I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i came on her dog
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
