If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Please don't give away my fajitas
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
