they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
