Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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