trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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