I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
