I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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