So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
