He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize